The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! I am your very ordinary average person who is constantly seeking life happiness and work/life balance. Due to some of my past life experiences such as managing through a divorce, surviving breast cancer and helping a loved one combat drug/alcohol addiction, I have now been inspired to start my own blog to document my past and continuing life journey. During this journey, I hope to help others along the same path.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Featured post

Four Years I Loved You Anyway

Four years I loved you like I’ve never loved another…even though I knew it would almost destroy me. Four years I hoped I would be your number one…even though I knew I wasn’t and never would be. Four years I tried to unselfishly give you everything you wanted and needed to be happy…even though I knew you never would know how to do that. Four years I let you treat me less than I deserved…all because I was trying to be compassionate of your conflict but ended up instead as your doormat. Four years I kept telling myself that maybe you would change your mind…although I knew I was lying to myself. Four years I waited and waited and waited…waited for your same love to pull me off your shelf. Four years I loved you anyway…even though I knew it never included me. Four years I loved you anyway and now I’m truly gone to let you be.

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A Glimpse Into My First Book

His Overdose

The only sounds in the ICU room were the scary but steady beeping and breathing of the machines that were keeping him alive.  The tubes down his throat would eventually become realized by me as a blessing in disguise.  Does he have brain damage?  “Only time will tell”, said the doctors a few hours ago in the ER.  The chaplain had met me as soon as I got to the ER room that my son was in.  The ambulance had already taken him there and I had somehow managed to follow along in my car.  At this point, I was in a daze, just robotically following along with no time to really absorb and process what the reality of this situation was.  Why was the chaplain meeting me outside the ER room?  Isn’t a chaplain there for someone who dies?  Is my son alive?  My head was just spinning with terrible thoughts and questions but at the same time, I couldn’t shed a tear.  Shouldn’t I be crying?  Why am I not crying?  Five days later I would finally have a melt down over the whole ordeal but for now I was in shock, just going through the actions of a mother who needed to be subconsciously brave for her son.

 

My true life story, more to come…

Social Media and Unhappiness

Hi…I wanted to share my most recent post on Facebook. I sure don’t mean to offend anyone but some of these statements are really true. In my opinion, Facebook (or other social media) can cause depression, low self-esteem and more…as so many people, including myself, are wasting productive life time thinking about why we didn’t get as many likes as someone else or why that person’s life seems so much happier than ours…how come they are always in a relationship and I’m not, etc. We continue watching so many others who give off the perception of being happy when they are some of the most miserable people ever. People post quote after quote of nonsense when we could really be out PHYSICALLY doing things of greater good…without flaunting it all over social media (that’s called humility by the way). We sit and think about why our lives are not as happy as others when in reality, some of those other people are screaming for help…for help and love and prayers for serious life issues.

So what I am going to do in support of this issue and become myself once again more involved in helping others with true life problems is to go off social media for 30 days at least….then see whether I really miss it or not. I’m removing all apps from my phone as that is where I distractedly waste time on a daily basis to observe others doing what the below post states. I personally am so tired of feeling like I am in competition with the world…when in reality the world is very fake and shallow.

How about we go back to the world of substance, honesty, humility and more? Where people are doing something good because they want to make others happy…not posting to social media to make their ownselves look good. Once again, I am sorry for offending anyone but I have experienced enough bad in life to know when I need a reality check back to what matters the most…which is DEFINITELY NOT spending my days looking at, posting to, or responding to insignificant social media posts.

I most likely will not see your answer after this…at least not for 30 days or more…but I do hope and pray…wishing you peace, happiness and more in finding genuine life meaning…because, in my opinion, it isn’t found on social media. If you have something urgent to say, please send to me through Messenger, text or email. Cheers and Love to everyone as I go to rediscover true life meaning and happiness…once again. 😊

Quit Apoligizing

So I know we all post various quotes on how we have felt at some point in our lives but I am so struggling with how to quit apologizing so much for expressing my feelings. I tend to honestly tell my feelings but then immediately feel wrong or sorry when someone challenges me back. I know that sometimes that it is good to be challenged but sometimes it truly is all the other person who is in the wrong.

This quote is helping to revalidate why I recently expressed my very honest feelings about a current life situation and, even though others chose to support the bully, that doesn’t mean that I’m incorrect or need to apologize anymore. Why do I keep feeling guilty…maybe because deep down I’m a person who truly cares? Maybe I am more honest, passionate and hard working than many others? Maybe I see through BS more than most…not sure…but what I do know is that I will not waste my life in a situation that doesn’t compliment my greatest attributes and/or bullies me into feeling like the bad person because I expressed how I felt.

Please continue to stand up for your feelings…most likely they are the correct ones but many other insecure people will try to bully you into feeling that you are in the wrong…dont believe it. Your gut feeling is most likely the best reaction.

In Order to Love Yourself, Date Yourself

I am sharing this post because I want for those of you who are single to focus on YOUR happiness and success. I see so many people relentlessly posting quotes and other things that scream unhappiness or loneliness…I’m sure that I have done so myself a time or two. Even though, after 6 years of pretty much dating myself, I’m totally ready for another relationship now, I truly believe that we should all spend time dating ourselves. If nothing else, you will have discovered a true confidence that you are smart, intelligent and brave enough to love and take care of yourself, without being dependent on anyone else. That in itself truly does do wonders for your own self-love.

Girls Who Stay Single For Large Gaps Of Time Actually End Up The Happiest

Define Your Chief Life Aim Today

I’m sharing this because I fully believe in it. I have several “chief aims” in life right now and I do believe you can achieve anything you set your mind to!

A little something very interesting that I read this morning by Napoleon Hill…”Any definite chief aim that is deliberately fixed in the mind and held there, with the firm determination to realize it, finally saturates the entire subconscious mind until it automatically influences the physical action of the body toward the attainment of that purpose.”

We all have dreams/aims in life but I feel that we often hold back, whether due to fear, bad timing, or other reasons. One of my aims is to be a successful writer but I am somewhat scared…scared of what people will think, scared of whether I will be good enough to make it and scared of putting myself out there for the world to see and hear.

However, I feel that we have to find the confidence in ourselves so that we can achieve these “chief aims” in life. Forget about what others think and just put your story out there as I’m completely confident that there is at least one person in this world that will relate to your story.

Also, please remember that there are so many people out there that do not have the emotional maturity to deal with your success. Therefore, they will gossip and try to put you down to the point you feel so badly about yourself. However, you will rise above that immaturity and remain silent and classy. You go girl/guy! You are smart, intelligent and more secure than the majority of the world. Go get those dreams!

You and Only You Have the Key to Unlock Your Chains

Well I know it wasn’t you who held me down. Heaven knows it wasn’t you who set me free. So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key,
but me, I’m already gone“…The Eagles.

I’ve heard these lyrics numerous times but for some reason they really struck a chord with me the other day. I started thinking about what these words really mean. Even though the song is relating to someone leaving a relationship where they are not getting the same love in return, essentially “being put on a shelf”, I started reflecting on how many other things in life we also allow to keep us in chains.

We allow people, relationships, work situations, financial struggles, bad school grades, and many other things to determine our happiness and success, or rather, lack thereof. We think that, if that person had loved us more, then they would have given us more in return for our love. We think that, if this manager had appreciated and noticed our skills more, then they would have promoted us and given us a pay raise by now. We think that, if this bank really wanted our business, then they should have given us that loan to buy a house. We think that, if this college professor really knew their stuff, then they would have seen that our 30 page report should get an “A”.

We often sit around blaming the other person, situation, etc. for holding us down. We gripe and complain about how dumb they are for not seeing how good we are for them or how smart we are for their business or how skilled we are for their sports team.

We then will be grateful, in other words still giving them the power, that they let us go, or rather “set us free” by breaking up with us, not hiring us, or giving us a bad grade.

We repost Pinterest quote after Pinterest quote about how we feel at multiple times of the day and during different hardships of our lives. Why do we do this? Do we repost all of those quotes to convince ourselves that we are free from our chains, that we are still good enough to find happiness within ourselves after being rejected by a significant other, employer or coach? I often do this type of thing myself so please don’t take what I’m saying in defense. We all want happiness, love and success. I do totally understand that.

What I am saying though, is that, just as these Eagles lyrics state, I believe we all need to stop blaming others…that we ourselves do hold the key to unlock these chains from our broken hearts, crushed egos, lack of job promotions, failing bank accounts, and unfinished educational degrees. We just need to find that key hidden inside our naturally weak human hands and hearts. Find it and use it to break those chains free from society’s expectations and failures. You are the key to your success. Your key is there…trust me…I’ve found mine and “I’m already gone”.

Writing My Second Book Before Finishing My First…Am I An Albert Einstein?

I once wrote a research report on Albert Einsten and, from what I can remember, he was a genius with a condition that we now call ADHD. Albert, who is also the name of my 11 1/2 year old dog, was a genious who could have 100 projects going on at the same time. He would get bored working on just one project (invention) until it was finished so therefore would have multiple things to move back and forth from.

I most definitely consider myself one of these ADHD or ADD type people. I am now working on my second book idea even though I’ve nowhere completed the first book. I truly think I’m an Albert Einstein for sure. Does that make me unstable or erratic…I don’t think so. If anything, it makes me a genious…just like he was. A genius full of ideas, creativity and inspiration.

Most job descriptions nowadays call for “multitaskers”. To me, that is the same as asking for someone to be ADHD just as Albert Einstein was. Even though most of our brains are not biologically fit to be Albert Einsteins, the world seems to require it. I’m all in…call me “Albert” as you will see one day what I can truly multitask and be successful at.

Are you an Albert Einstein? If so, please continue on with that ADHD behavior and invent something beautiful.

You Do Deserve Much More…Pessimism or Optimism…Which Will it Be?

I am being very pessimistic right now or maybe not…I will let you decide. Am I pessimistic because I feel that life may have let me down or am I optimistic because I know that life should provide me more?

After talking to a close friend yesterday, I feel that we often judge ourselves and others unrealistically a lot of the time. We often expect more from ourselves and others that is not humanly possible. We think that we are not skinny enough or not kind enough or caring enough. When, we are probably most likely over doing, over giving, over loving, over understanding. When, we should probably be demanding or getting that in return for ourselves but are not.

When do we deserve someone else being unselfish for us? That is what I would like to know. We work and work and try and try to be so unselfish for others but what do we get in return…usually and most often nothing. I know that is the pessimistic view, but it is true in this very unselfish world we live in. It is very hard to find someone who truly gives their all to you.

I am going to choose to be equally pessimistic and optimistic because I believe that both are true in life. We all have our difficulties but we all have the choice of deciding to be pessimistic and depressed or optimistic and energized for life. I also believe that the bad things in life can be what triggers us to make positive changes to our situation.

I am going to be pessimistic and say, “why do I deserve feeling as if no one cares about me” but I am also going to be optimistic and say, “I know there is a reason for why I am where I am now, and it will lead to better things that I cannot even begin to imagine right now”.

What are your pessimistic and optimistic views of life? Get them all out as it is very important in processing this difficult and sometimes painful life we live.

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